The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I smell like Dick and happiness
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
