Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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