go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
