Please, let me fuck your mom
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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