you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
