I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there was a trapeze. enough said
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
