He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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