if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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