don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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