If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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