I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
