I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
