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You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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