Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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