The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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