we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pants are for mortals
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
