tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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