It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
