maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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