Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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