I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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