Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize