I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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