Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
