I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize