ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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