I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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