Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
