i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
