I puked a lego.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
