Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
