Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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