does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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