I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
