Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
