First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
