Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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