Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
