My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm both gender and math confused
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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