Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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