dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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