remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize