i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
