Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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