apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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