went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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