I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
