Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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