I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
