I want to stick my p in your. b.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
