me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
