u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
