Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
