Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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