And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
