Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
