Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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