Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
