So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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