rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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